Anonymous Partner “Brad”

When “Brad” and his partner  of 20 years “Clay” met, Clay had just ended his term of service.  After 10 years of living in rural Idaho with his partner, Clay reenlisted in the Army to attend to “unfinished business.”   Clay would soon be deployed to Iraq, motivating Brad to help other gay military spouses deal with the stress of living under DADT. Not satisfied with sitting idly while his husband was deployed, Brad began documenting his journey on Servicemembers United website and working closely with other organizations to tell his story of what it’s like to be a gay partner of an active duty soldier. Though Clay has since returned from his deployment, the harsh memories of Iraq still linger, full treatment for which is unavailable due to restrictions placed on him by DADT. “Even when faced with memory loss, lapses in concentration, nightmares, flashbacks, angry outbursts… you’re just supposed to keep toughing it out, right?  And then one day you just can’t hold it together anymore.”  Since returning from Iraq, Brad has been in contact with both The Soldiers Project and Give and Hour, two organizations that assist returning service members, gay or straight, with adjusting to life post-deployment.