If you recognize Rob Smith’s face then you are not alone. Rob was a contestant on VH1’s hugely popular reality show “I want to work for Diddy”. Though he didn’t win, he has managed to make the most out of his notoriety from the show. The former Syracuse University graduate and Army veteran served for almost a year in Iraq in 2003 where he served as machine gun lineman, driver, and mechanic. He served in the Army for 4 ½ years before deciding not to re-enlist because of the DADT policy. After the show aired, he began traveling across the country speaking about his experiences living under DADT. He hopes to connect with other LGB vets who felt the isolation of living under the discriminatory policy. “I was there. I made it through the storm, and the only thing I can think of is why I made it when others didn’t.” Rob has written for The Huffington Post and Swerv and is currently working on his memoir.

“I do worry a lot about being outed and kicked out.  So far the military has been my livelyhood and my source of work/income for the past 6 years.  I don’t want that all taken away from me and me being discharged anything but honorably.” These sentiments are echoed by countless service members serving in silence, but for this anonymous Marine serving in Afghanistan they hit particularly hard.  ”We face the same challenges as all other “straight” deployed Marines or soldiers but with extra burden.  I feel at times that I have split personalities or I live a double life.” Born in New York City and raised in Florida, he joined for many of the same reasons all Americans do. For the challenge, patriotic duty, and to help fight against the war on terrorism. Though he continues to serve proudly, the unnecessary burden of living under DADT is beginning to take it’s toll. Though until DADT is repealed, the courage and bravery of our gay and lesbian service members will take a backseat to bigotry.

Alexander Nicholson is the founder and executive director of Servicemembers United, the nation’s largest organization of gay and lesbian troops and veterans, and is one of the nation’s top leaders in the fight to repeal the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy. A former U.S. Army human intelligence collector who speaks multiple foreign languages including Arabic, Nicholson was discharged from the military because of “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” just six months after 9/11. In 2005, Nicholson went public about his own experience with DADT and began organizing to encourage other gay, lesbian and straight veterans – particularly Iraq- and Afghanistan-era - to get involved in advocacy and activism on the DADT issue. Nicholson is the creator of several of the most well-known initiatives to highlight and draw nationwide attention to the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” issue, including the 2006 “Call To Duty Tour” and the 2007 “12,000 Flags for 12,000 Patriots” event on the National Mall. He is also one of the primary organizers behind the 2007 “Legacy of Service Tour” and the 2009 “Voices of Honor Tour.” Nicholson was featured on the cover of the Advocate in 2006 and has also appeared in countless other media pieces on “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” as a representative of the gay military and veteran community. Along with Servicemembers United, he is prominently featured in the new PBS documentary “Ask Not,” which chronicles the evolution of the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy and profiles the contemporary movement to overturn the law.

When “Brad” and his partner  of 20 years “Clay” met, Clay had just ended his term of service.  After 10 years of living in rural Idaho with his partner, Clay reenlisted in the Army to attend to “unfinished business.”   Clay would soon be deployed to Iraq, motivating Brad to help other gay military spouses deal with the stress of living under DADT. Not satisfied with sitting idly while his husband was deployed, Brad began documenting his journey on Servicemembers United website and working closely with other organizations to tell his story of what it’s like to be a gay partner of an active duty soldier. Though Clay has since returned from his deployment, the harsh memories of Iraq still linger, full treatment for which is unavailable due to restrictions placed on him by DADT. “Even when faced with memory loss, lapses in concentration, nightmares, flashbacks, angry outbursts… you’re just supposed to keep toughing it out, right?  And then one day you just can’t hold it together anymore.”  Since returning from Iraq, Brad has been in contact with both The Soldiers Project and Give and Hour, two organizations that assist returning service members, gay or straight, with adjusting to life post-deployment.

At the age of 19, Bronwen Tomb joined the Coast Guard to ”experience adventure and at the same time help people.” Bronwen landed her first duty station off the coast of Oregon and later found herself sailing across Europe, attaining the life of adventure she had always wanted. Her hard work and perseverance eventually led her to being selected to attend the US Coast Guard Academy. Though she flourished at the academy, her tenure would come to an abrupt end when a classmate decided to out her to her command. “After a few months of regular conversation I told him that I am a lesbian. Two days later he had notified the company chief and lieutenant, and discharge proceedings began.” Like so many other gay and lesbian service members, she had become the subject of an extensive witch hunt. Though she had the choice to sign a waiver of denial, she felt her honesty and integrity were more important, and refused to sign the document. “Overall I felt very accepted during my time in the Coast Guard. I only wish that the few individuals who did not accept me did not have the law on their side.” Bronwen currently resides in Staten Island, NY and recently completed her B.S. in Ecology and Evolutionary Biology.

This decorated Midwesterner is the embodiment of a Marine Corps recruiting poster. Standing  proud with a high-and-tight, a chest full of ribbons and two combat tours under his belt, he is also the epitome of the classic over-achiever. But despite his accomplishments, this Marine also presents a perfect example of  the psychological harm and undue stress that the DADT policy puts upon LGBT service members. Though he has risked life and limb daily in service for his country, he is not able to fully take advantage of his medical benefits when he returned from abroad. Like many others living in the closet, this Marine was apprehensive about seeking help in dealing with his Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. Instead he was made to suffer in silence for fear that any personal information given to military counselors would be used against him. As the saying goes, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell is alive and well” in the VA. But due to the selective adherence of DADT,  he had to be extremely cautious about who he confided in. “Thankfully,I had a solid support system at home. I had a partner who was understanding and caring, and without him, I honestly don’t know what I would’ve done.” While most military members are given unlimited access to mental health information, financial counseling and commissary/exchange  privileges for them and their families, for gay and lesbian members, these options are often unavailable. Even greater is the loss of camaraderie between those in the closet and their fellow service members, “The bond and trust that you share with your peers is diluted because you never know who you can trust. You can’t let people into your life even if you want to.”

After graduating Summa Cum Laude from Mississippi College with a BA in modern languages, Kevin Vick, 30, enlisted in the United States Air Force in 2003. He trained as an Arabic language airborne cryptologic linguist at the Defense Language Institute in Monterey, CA where he graduated top of his class, earning him both a Commandant’s Award and an Army Achievement Medal. Vick was then stationed at Offutt AFB where he maintained top proficiency in Arabic, Spanish, French and Portuguese. Additionally, he worked as the primary Cryptologic Responsible Officer, accountable for the communications security of one of the largest intelligence squadrons in the USAF.  While at Offut AFB, Vick was also assigned to work as the command language program manager, supporting training and language proficiency for squadron personnel. He deployed in support of various operations and missions including Operation Enduring Freedom. Vick was aware of his orientation before joining the armed forces, but his desire to serve his country outweighed his frustration with the military’s discriminatory policies. During his service, however, Vick became increasingly appalled at the hypocrisy of DADT as he saw coworkers, exemplary of moral character and integrity, discharged simply on the basis of their sexuality. As he felt this systemic discrimination undermined the very foundation of unit cohesion and the principles the military upholds, in 2009 Staff Sergeant Vick chose to not re-enlist. Vick now lives in Houston, TX, where he plans to pursue a second degree in biochemistry and attend medical school.